Zoltar Speaks

April 23, 2013

While walking through a New York State Thruway rest stop in Warners I was stopped by a fortune teller named Zoltar. He certainly looked legitimate.


The outfit, head gear, and facial hair all matched up to your typical fortune teller. However, I was still skeptical about giving him my money until I saw that Zoltar was also, like myself, a collector of odd things.


Zoltar collected many things you would expect from a fortune teller – a crystal ball, rings, necklaces, cards, incense, little skulls and, of course, a glow-in-the-dark Buddha. However, it looks like Zoltar also fancied many of the items found in the Thruway rest stop shop – a map of New York, a Statue Of Liberty figurine, a Buffalo Bills change purse, and a used lottery ticket. He tried convincing me to have my fortune read, but I was already sold. How could I resist?

Amazing! It’s like he knew me personally! Now that was a dollar well spent! Here is the fortune I received:


While I look nothing like the man in the picture, the rest of the fortune is brilliant!

Must go surrender more money to Zoltar now!